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Grief and Grace
A time of sorrow can be, even with its difficulties, a unique time of grace for the grieving and for those who grieve with them.
St. Paul knew this. At the beginning of his Second Letter to the Corinthians he said: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
Comforting the sorrowful is one of the seven spiritual works of mercy rooted in the life of Jesus, a ministry perpetuated by Catholic parishes in the Archdiocese of San Francisco through the gifts of trained members.
If you are grieving . . .
the Archdiocese of San Francisco offers many formal, parish-based support groups and events led by trained facilitators, many of whom themselves have suffered personal loss.If you'd like to be trained to support the grieving . . .
Comforting the sorrowful does not mean removing the sorrow, much less restoring what was lost. Often it means to simply be present as the face of Christ to those who suffer. This is the straightforward counsel of St. Paul: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Rom 12:15)The Archdiocese of San Francisco offers training for parishioners who wish to formally offer this spiritual work of mercy by becoming ministers of consolation.
Whether you are grieving or would like to join our ministry of consolation please contact us directly and let us answer any questions you may have.
Grief and Consolation Ministry
One Peter Yorke Way
San Francisco, CA 94109
Ed Hopfner, Director
hopfnere@sfarch.org
415-614-5547
Sr. Toni Lynn Gallagher RSM, Bereavement Coordinator
1555 39th Ave., San Francisco CA 94122
415-317-4436
tlgallagher@sistersofmercy.org
Other resources:
Mental Health Minstry (Archdiocese of SF);
Bereavement DVDs -
Consolation Ministry
Events Calendar (Consolation Ministry)
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(Calendar updated 1/7/21)
The loss of someone we held dear is a painful process that takes time and rearranges our entire life and its former priorities. Though others may walk with us listening to our story the journey through grief is a singular one in which God leads us into a new way of living without the one we cherished.
Learning to “heart walk” with the person no longer at our side takes time and energy.
BUT God walks within us and carries us in love until we are ready to live again in new ways. Faith-Hope-and Love are the stepping stones; courage to make the journey allows me to step softly and then with conviction as healing begins. Each parish is ready to assist you.
The list below represents those known for a particular grief outreach.
Those with a* have small group assistance.
Others have one on one support to assist you.
Please call first as restrictions will likely affect program offerings--Check the San Francisco Catholic to see additional offerings.
Once a month at Holy Cross Cemetery there is a Mass for all those who have died
(THIS IS CURRENTLY SUSPENDED, DUE TO COVID RESTRICTIONS)
whether or not they are buried at Holy Cross.
We are aware many of you are unable to go home to celebrate the death of a loved one.
We invite you to bring your family and pray with us at Holy Cross and in your local parish.
Finally: Be grateful for the life of the person you will never forget
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Grief Support Group
Church of the Nativity
6 weeks (virtual, via Zoom)
11:00 a.m.-12:30 PM
Fridays, Feb. 12- Mar 19
Goals: to provide educational information about grief and loss,
-to assist members in developing coping and adapting skills
-to offer emotional support.
More info or to register: Sheila Kennedy, LCSW
(650)619-7079 or Sheila-kennedy@sbcglobal.net
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Monthly Grief Support Programs
Reminder -- Always call first please,
as programs may depend on the latest restrictions
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St Mary’s Cathedral
ZOOM Video/Telephone Meetings
Strength for the Journey
Monthly Support Group for People with Life-Threatening Illnesseses
( Feb 5, Mar 5, April 2) 1st Fridays 1:00 - 3:00pm .
This ministry offers spiritual support for people with life threatening illnesses.
Diagnosis of such an illness can provide an opportunity
to seek spiritual support through Word, Sacrament and Community.
This free support group will also provide guidance on Catholic Teaching
and the preparation of Health Care Directives for medical care.
Meetings are facilitated by Deacon R. Christoph Sandoval
Please email Deacon to join:
For further details/ registration call 415-567-2020 Ext. 218
or email csandoval@stmarycathedralsf.org
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THROUGH DARKNESS INTO NEW LIGHT
Spiritual Grief Support Group
( Jan 15, Feb 19. Mar 19) 3rd Fridays, 10:30 a.m. to Noon.
These sessions provide information on the grieving process
and tips on coping with the loss of a loved one.
This is an opportunity to mourn in a safe, private and confidential setting.
Meetings are facilitated by Deacon R. Christoph Sandoval
Please email Deacon to join:
For further details/ registration call 415-567-2020 Ext. 218
or email csandoval@stmarycathedralsf.org
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Grieving with Great Hope
This is a very good 5-part series on grief, available through Formed.org
It can be accessed here
A subscription is required - many parishes have access
If that isn't accessible, you can also start a free 7-day trial and watch at least some of these
- deciding if you want to pay to continue.
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GriefShare
GriefShare is a Christian, nondenominational ministry, which offers friendly, caring group of people
who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences.
You don’t have to go through the grieving process alone.
More information or to find a local group here
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Drop-in Grief Support groups (Mission Hospice)
Events are free; everyone is welcome no ; RSVP needed.
Schedules and locations are subject to changeOnline, 12 week
closed grief support group (limited to 8 persons)please check our website or call 650-554-1000 and ask for the bereavement department.
San Mateo
Mission Hospice
1670 South Amphlett, #300, San Mateoplease check our website or call 650-554-1000 and ask for the bereavement department. Tuesday evenings: 6 - 7:30pm
1st and 3rd Saturdays: 10 - 11:30am
2nd and 4th Saturdays: 10 - 11:30am – for widows/widowers.
To ask about childcare, please call Tracie Pyers, 650-534-4947.
3rd Thursday evening, 6 - 7:30pm – Suicide Loss Group,
before attending for the first time, please call Isabel Stenzel at 650-931-8236
Pacifica
540 Crespi Drive, Pacifica3rd Friday: 10:30 - Noon
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Specialized Grief Support Groups
Mission Hospice,
1670 S. Amphlett Blvd. #300, San Mateo
First Wednesday of the month
TO REGISTER / MORE INFORMATION
CONTACT Isabel Stenzel, LCSW, Bereavement Coordinator
650.931.8236 or istenzel@MissionHospice.org
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------***Check your parish bulletin for opportunities close to home and remember our cemeteries have a monthly Mass for the deceased
(those who have died a long time ago as well as recently are remembered. All are welcome.)--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cada Miercoles Grupo de apoyo –
‘Sanando el corazon’Este grupo de apoyo es para adultos (mayores de 18 años de edad) que hablan Español y que hayan sufrido la perdida de un ser querido.
Si aprendemos cómo ayudarnos a nosotros mismos durante el luto,
se puede facilitar el proceso del dolor.
Miércoles de 6 - 7:30 pm, en Mission Hospice (1670 S. Amphlett Blvd. #300, San Mateo)Estas pláticas son coordinadas por la consejera profesional,
Sara Martinez, MSW, Trabajadora Social.
El servicio es totalmente gratuito y no es necesario inscribirse.
Parish Grief Support Groups
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Reminder -- Always call the parish first please,
to inquire about the dates and times of grief opportunities.
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SAN FRANCISCO COUNTYSt. Agnes Parish
1025 Masonic Avenue
415-487-8560
stagnessf.com
St. Brendan Parish *
29 Rockaway Ave.
Contact Sr. Angela Furia
415-969-6813
stbrendanparish.org
St. Dominic's Parish *
2390 Bush Street
Contact Deacon Chuck 415-505-9114 or
deaconchuck@stdominics.org
to set up a phone or zoom or in person meeting.
Holy Name of Jesus Parish
1555 39th Ave.
Contact Valerie Toy
415-664-8590
HolyNameSF.orgMost Holy Redeemer Parish *
100 Diamond Street
AIDS Support Group
Contact Pete Toms
pete-asg@mhr.org
or mhr.org
St. Mary’s Cathedral Parish *
1111 Gough Street
Contact Deacon Christoph Sandoval
415-567-2020 Ext. 218 or
rcs7777@comcast.net
stmarycathedralsf.orgMARIN COUNTY
Our Lady of Loretto Parish, Novato *
1806 Novato Boulevard
Structured 8-Week Group:
Contact Sr. Jeanette
jl49s@verizon.net or 415-897-2171
(Individual grief counseling also available)
ollnovato.orgSt. Anthony Parish, Novato
1000 Cambridge Street
Contact Jill Everingham
stanthonyssecretary@gmail.com
saint-anthonys.com
St. Hilary Parish, Tiburon *
761 Hilary Drive
Group offerings available each season
Contact Dolores Maguire
DoloresMaguire@gmail.com
415-435-1122
sthilary.orgStar of the Sea Parish, Sausalito *
180 Harrison Avenue
415-332-1765
starofthesea.usSAN MATEO COUNTY
Church of the Good Shepherd Parish, Pacifica *
901 Oceana Boulevard
Group offerings available each season
Contact Suzanne Chinn
650-355-2593
gschurchca.org
Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish, Belmont *
1040 Alameda de las Pulgas
Contact parish
650-593-6157
ihmbelmont.org
Mercy Center, Burlingame *
2300 Adeline Drive
Web site offerings throughout the year to honor those seeking God in grief moments.
Day and weekend workshops available
650-340-7474
mercy-center.org
Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Parish, Redwood City *
300 Fulton Street
650-666-3802
mountcarmel.org
St. Anthony’s Parish, Menlo Park
3500 Middlefield Road
650-366-4692
Espanol - Gloria Gutierrez
St. Bartholomew Parish, San Mateo *
300 Alameda de Las Pulgas 94402
Third Thursday of the month 6:30 - 7: 30 pm.
(Please call ahead to confirm the date)
650-347-0701
Contact: Liliane Cools lillianecools@yahoo.com
barts.orgSt. Charles Parish, San Carlos *
880 Tamarack Avenue
Contact Kathy Fagliano
650-591-7349
stcharlesparish.org
St. Dunstan Parish, Millbrae *
1133 Broadway Avenue
Contact parish office
(650) 697-4730
saintdunstanchurch.org
St. Matthew Parish *
1 Notre Dame Ave.
No formal ministry, but two trained persons who can meet with the bereaved
Mildred Struempf / (650) 421-5547 / dinewithjc@gmail.com
Bernadette Shu / (415) 307-5763 / b.shu12@gmail.com
More information - contact Kathryn Cross kcross@stmatthewcath.orgSt. Matthias Parish, Redwood City
1685 Cordilleras Road
650-366-9544
stmattiasparish.orgSt. Peter Parish, Pacifica
700 Oddstad Boulevard
Contact Sister Hilda Sandoval MSP
or Father Jerome P. Foley
650-359-6313
stpeterpacifica.org
St. Pius Parish, Redwood City *
1100 Woodside Road
2 structured support groups offered each year
along with a Holiday Grief Workshop
Contact Mary Dickenson
650-361-0655 or
griefministry@pius.org
pius.orgSt. Robert Parish, San Bruno *
349 Oak Avenue
saintroberts.orgSt. Timothy Parish, San Mateo
1515-1600 Dolan Avenue
Contact Deacon Fred Totah
650-342-2468
sttims.us -
Bereavement Ministers
If you'd like to be trained to support the grieving . . .
Comforting the sorrowful does not mean removing the sorrow, much less restoring what was lost.
Often it means to simply be present as the face of Christ to those who suffer. This is the straightforward counsel of St. Paul: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Rom 12:15)The Archdiocese of San Francisco offers training for parishioners who wish to formally
offer this spiritual work of mercy by becoming ministers of consolation.
Bereavement Ministers
The Church calls each member of Christ’s body -- priest, deacon as well as layperson -- to participate in the ministry of consolation: to care for the dying, to pray for the dead, and to comfort those who mourn. Mercy Sister Toni Lynn Gallagher prepares lay volunteers to support their parish communities as bereavement ministers through a comprehensive training program that covers:
Order of Christian funerals
The grief process
Listening/communication skills
Caring for the minister
Planning your program
Support groupsThe training is intended to help raise the awareness of grief and the needs of grieving people and cultivate parish-based grief care programs. Bereavement ministers will obtain the tools and education they need to be present to the bereaved and will be equipped to help sponsor parish grief support groups.
Other Community Resources
KARA
457 Kingsley Avenue, Palo Alto CA 94301
650-321-5272 - call for specific groups.
Drop-in group: 1st and 3rdWednesdays of the month (7:00 - 8:30 pm).
Drop-in group: 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of the month (1:00 - 2:30 pm).
Men’s Drop in Group: 4th Tuesday of the month (7:00 - 8:30 pm)
Menlo Park Presbyterian Church
950 Santa Cruz Avenue, Menlo Park CA 94025
Grief Support ~ Drop in. Call for updated schedule.
Contact Monte Fisher: 650-888-3215c or 650-330-7581w or mfisher@menlo.church
Widows and Widowers Grief Recovery ~ Contact Sandy Ciardella 650-854-3605
MILL-PENINSULA HOSPITAL (or MILL)
HAND – Help After Neonatal Death (Peninsula)
650-367-6993 or email info@handsupport.org
Loss, Grief and Bereavement Support Group
Phone: 650-696-5400
MISSION HOSPICE AND HOME CARE
1670 S. Amphlett Blvd., Suite 300, San Mateo CA 94402
650-554-1000
Bereavement Coordinator: Roby Newman, LCSW
rnewman@missionhospice.org
or Isabel Stenzel 650 931 8236
istenzel@Missionhospice.org
We offer individual bereavement counseling to adults, teens, and children, in the office or home,
to hospice families and community clients (sliding scale fee for community clients)
We offer the following support groups:
Drop-in support groups Tuesday and Saturdays, Coastside Grief Support Group,
Spanish Grief Support Group in Redwood City. Specialty groups: “Coping with the Holidays”
grief support group and “Writing through Loss” grief support group
PATHWAYS
Pathways Hospice offers a free grief support group for those suffering a loss of a loved one. The group provides a safe place for sharing and support, along with discussions about the grieving process, loneliness, longing, anger, coping skills, lifestyle transitions and much more.
For further information, please contact Kylin Navarro at 408-773-4295.
See list of supportive workshops online @pathwayshealth.org/grief-support
DEATH CAFÉS – Death Cafes are now offered weekly, and have provided a robust and interesting way to meet with others to talk about managing this pandemic, thoughts about death, experiences around death, thoughts, fears, concerns about loss and grief. You can find more information about Death Café here.
Tuesday, October 27th, 10 - Noon, to participate, register here.
Tuesday, November 3rd, 10 - Noon, to participate, register here.
AFSP American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
800 273 8255 afsp.org
Clear Mourning
www.clearmourning .org
Peninsula & South Bay
Contact: Vivian Shults: • (group support, workshops) call: 408.773.4241
Tom May: (individual support) call: 408-773-4329
San Francisco/East Bay
Contact: Dave Rutschman, Bereavement Services Manager • call: 650.808.4603 or email: bereavement@pathwayshealth.orgStepping Stones
Adult day health care service to San Francisco’s frail seniors and adults with disabilities.
Provides respite for family care-givers as well as a program of nursing services,
transportation, medication management, physical and occupational therapy,
hot lunch and personal care. A multi-lingual staff at four locations in the city:
private pay, as well as financial assistance for those eligible
for MediCal or VA assistance, are all available.
Contact ruiyang@steppingstonehealth.org or 415 974 6784 ext. 23 .
This could be a real aid and comfort to those in need.
SUTTER CARE
Sutter Care at Home offers several options. suttercareathome.org/GriefSupport/SanMateo.html
Contact Dawn Torre; MA at 650-685-2830 or email torred1@sutterhealth.org or
Richard Jamil, MS (Children’s Bereavement Program Coordinator) at 650-685-2852
ADDITIONAL WEBSITES
Grieving with great hope (Formed.org)
griefshare.org
missionhospice.org
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Whether you are grieving or would like to join our ministry of consolation,
please contact us directly and let us answer any questions you may have.
Grief and Consolation Ministry
One Peter Yorke Way
San Francisco, CA 94109
Ed Hopfner, Director
hopfnere@sfarch.org
415-614-5547
Sr. Toni Lynn Gallagher RSM, Bereavement Coordinator
1555 39th Ave., San Francisco CA 94122
415-317-4436
tlgallagher@sistersofmercy.org